The hammer is a metaphor for things that will change not only your life, but how you see yourself and the world around you!
There are many 'hammers' out there and unfortunately I can not tell you which one you need to use. I personally suggest starting with learning about Buddhism. However there are many spiritual paths, religious paths, scientific paths, metaphysical paths, cognitive paths, 12 step paths, and others. The goal is to try one and see if it works. I tell everyone the same thing: go to the library or bookstore and find the 'self-help' area. There will be an entire section based on the idea of "change your thinking and change your life". There are actually books with that very title!
Personally I don't care if sitting around eating watermelon, throwing darts, and listening to the Beatles is what helps you change your thinking and your life. If that is what works, make sure you have plenty of watermelons and let the music play! The key is to find what works for you, and then apply that path EVERYDAY! As nothing changes, if you don't change it!
You 'learned' how to use drugs. Think about it! You didn't just walk outside one day and think: "Ok, I have two drug dealers down this way that have what I like, and one down this way. However, this guys normally has what I like and he is normally a little cheaper, so I will start with him. And when I get there I'm going to get 'this' and use it 'this' way because that is what gives me the best high." You didn't just 'know' that, you learned that shit! Put the same effort into changing how you think as you did into learning how to stay high (or not sick).
Have you ever watched someone shape steel? I recommend googling 'blacksmithing' and watching a few of the videos. They use different hammers to get different effects, and the steel is pounded and pounded and pounded! Then its stuffed back into the fire, and pounded some more. This is what you MUST do to change those deep seated reactions and emotions that you have about you and the world around you.
Think about how much effort, time, and repetition was used to create your habit. You were planning your day before your eyes were even open, and you always had a plan for tomorrow before you crashed out. It's going to take more work to undo what has been done, as you not only have to unlearn what has been learned, but you must also learn a different way as well! However, do not lose hope! The day you put as much effort into your recovery as you put into addiction ... YOU WILL NOT FAIL!
One top of this, there is nothing you have to find that you don't already have inside of you! You already have the ability to forgive, the ability to love, the ability to change, the ability to see things differently. You just need to learn how to think differently. It is not about stopping the storms, it's about learning how to dance in the rain!
So go to the library or bookstore and take a look. If you walk in honestly looking to find some direction, you will find that one of the books 'talks' to you. There will be one that seems more 'doable' than the others, one that makes more sense. Get that book, or workbook and start applying what's in those pages with the same ferocity as you did with your drug of choice!
Up next ... A better understanding of addiction.
Who am I?
I have been called "Sirthinkalot" and "The mender of souls." I am an addiction specialist and a full-time psychology student on the way to Dr. Davis in clinical psychology. I am currently crusading for the expedited paradigm shift in addiction recovery!