Hello Sports Fans, 
Here is a breakdown of how some people get into a state of hopelessness or inaction.  There are lots of other reasons, but these are kinda the "cliff notes" if you will.

​1.  The human being, although having a very evolved brain, is still an animal and is therefore VERY condition-able as well as a creature of habit AND is most often driven by its primal brain and NOT its prefrontal cortex … remembering that we spend between 90%-95% of our day on auto-pilot (meaning we aren’t consciously thinking about our actions or consciously making choices) is also huge in understanding why people do or don’t do certain things.
2.  The main two primary driving force of the brain are to get us to to procreate and survive long enough to do so … and it is hard-wired to chase pleasure and avoid pain … however the drive to avoid pain is 3x that of chasing pleasure (as avoiding pain is what keeps us alive).
3.  Enter ~ learned hopelessness ~ in a study with dogs way back in the day, they learned that they could shock the dog in a cage often enough without letting them get out that even after they opened the door the dog would just lay there and take the mild shocks instead of trying to leave the cage … as somewhere in their brain they just figure that escape is now “hopeless.”  It’s the same with conditioning the work elephants, by chaining them with huge chains and massive stakes as little guys, the elephants eventually stop attempting to break free, so they don’t even try when they are adults … this is also a major part of people who stay in violent or destructive relationships, they figure this is just as good as life can be so they quit trying to change things.
4.  Now understand that the brain lies to itself ALL the time: excuses for eating or not eating, for exercising or not, for why someone said or did something or for why we will or will not tolerate something, for why we stick with a job or not, and on and on … and understand that it is lying to itself to keep your Psyche safe (no one wants to admit they suck at something, or that someone doesn’t love them anymore, or that they are allowing something to happen or whatever) as emotional pain is much more detrimental to the “self” than physical pain ~ and again we avoid pain 3x more than pleasure.  Meaning ~ people will avoid the feeling of failing at something over the possible pleasure of actually doing it … not asking someone to dance for fear or rejection or fear of how others will think of you while you dance is a VERY common example of this.
5.  Us limiting us ~ Our current beliefs and personal frame of reference is EVERYTHING in relation to motivation for what we consciously choose to do.  If my frame of reference is “I’m a failure” my brain is going to do everything it can to keep me from attempting things that I believe I might fail at ~ so I’ll use every excuse under the sun to avoid taking actions that I could fail at.  Your beliefs shape your current personal frame of reference … hence the idea of, change your thinking and change your life ~ and you will literally open up opportunities and possibilities that you would not have attempted if you were in a different state of mind.
6.  The fix ~ change beliefs and personal frame of reference ~ by providing a constant series of “small wins” for the person, slowing building up their beliefs in self, and thus reframing their personal frame of reference

Hello Sports Fans!

This post is more for those that are trying to understand those with addiction.  Here are some points that not everyone may consider: 

• Their brains don't process information or "things" the way yours does ... so don't expect them to think the same way about life or what is important
• If they are in survival mode (which is most of them) they aren't thinking about long term, they are thinking about the next few hours ... so the concept of staying clean and sober so that something can happen "one day" isn't even on their radar yet
• Little things aren't little to them ... so don't down play what they are worried about or what they are concerned about, if they had the coping skills to deal with everything they wouldn't be in the shape they are in now
• Nothing negative you can say to them is going to be worse than what they already tell themselves 100 times a day ... so try something besides "yelling at them" or threatening them to get them to redirect their behaviors
• There is TRAUMA underneath the drug use ... understand that aside from using drugs, they also need help dealing with something from a psychological level as well
• They are not "stupid" and they do care ... they just process the world around them MUCH differently than you or I do.  And even when they have been "clean" for awhile, it still takes the brain a decent amount of time to readjust and reprogram old habits and beliefs

These are just a few of the major things that even people in helping professions tend to forget.  I hope they help you to better understand your loved one, or the person you are trying to help.  

Just remember that recovery IS THE NORM!  So don't give up on them!  There is always hope!

Hello Sports Fans!

If you have never heard of MOOC's let me clue you in ~ they are "Massive Open On-Line Courses"  and they are free for the most part!  I know many of the people that I work with have goals of going back to school or getting better at something they used to do.  MOOC's can help you get your edge back without costing you an arm and a leg!

Come check them out "Here" or here ~~~> http://mooc.org

Hello Again Sports Fans!

People are always looking for something to help change their lives, but they always complain that they don't have any time to make the needed changes.  Well here is something that you can do in just 10-15 min that can have a huge impact on your life!  Enjoy it :)
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Hello Sports Fans!

Here is a great little video with Wayne Dyer explaining why the last 5 min before you go to sleep are so important and how it can literally help reshape your life!  Enjoy :)
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Hello Sports Fans!

If you have never heard Wayne Dyer or what he has to say, take the time to listen to his 5 lessons to live by, you will NOT be disappointed!  Enjoy :)
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Hello Again Sports Fans!

If you don't learn how to think higher than how you feel, you will continue to be a slave to your emotions and your environment.  Here is a great video with Joe Dispenza, talking about the process and the "why's" and "how's" behind why we do what we do.  Enjoy :)
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Hello Sports Fans!

You ever wonder why nutrition plays such an important role in your mood and behavior??  It's because science has finally figured out that your "gut" is your second brain!  Here is Mantak Chia giving us some vital information about it!  Enjoy :)
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