I have been addressing this topic with many clients with shocking results, so I figured I'd put it on here to maybe reach a few others that were struggling with the same thing.
Lets take 'feelings' for a moment: sad, happy, angry, scared. First off feelings are fleeting, like you can be scared to death by a prank, and then laughing because it was funny a moment later. Feelings are NOT moods. Moods are feelings that have 'set in'. Like, sadness leads to depression.
Now, have you ever been scared? Have you ever been scared after watching a movie? How did you deal with the fear? How did you make it down into the basement to change the laundry? You RATIONALIZED your fear. You explained what you have been told since you were a child: "don't be afraid of the dark", "there's no such thing as monsters", "just close your eyes and count to 3", or whatever it was.
Ok. Understand that ALL feelings are the same way. You CAN rationalize ~ fear, sadness, anger, whatever! As feelings are NOT real! Can you reach in your pocket and give me some 'fear', or 'sadness'? No. Why? Because it's not real, its in your head!
It goes something like this: Feelings drive Thoughts, which drive Physical reactions (like increased heart rate, or goose bumps), and this eventually drives mood. Now understand you have FULL control over your thoughts. Don't believe me? Picture your favorite cartoon character ... it's THAT easy!
So if you are having 'bad' feelings, change your THINKING and that will change the rest. Much like waking up and feeling 'dread' because you have to go to work and then 'thinking' no by God, today is going to be a great day! That 'thought' will impact that loop!
You are NOT a slave to your feelings! The issue is, our parents only taught us how to deal with 'fear'. They never sat us down and said "ok when you are starting to get depressed do "THIS" or "when you start getting stressed out, do "THIS". All you have to do is LEARN how to deal with the other feelings, in the same way you do fear!
Who am I?
I have been called "Sirthinkalot" and "The mender of souls." I am an addiction specialist and a full-time psychology student on the way to Dr. Davis in clinical psychology. I am currently crusading for the expedited paradigm shift in addiction recovery!