Hello my Friends!
THIS is the mother of ALL questions ... aside from maybe "what do you want to do tonight" or "what do you want for dinner" lol. See here is the thing. Most people list their 'labels' ... I'm a mom or dad or engineer or a licensed professional or a pilot or whatever ... but that's not WHO you are ... Let me give you an example. So my name is Chad ... that's the verbal construct that people know me as. Of course others just know me as Davis, or The Cannon Ball, or "The Chad," or "Spark Plug," or ... well the list goes on. And I'm a psychologist but I'm also a personal trainer but I'm also a security guy but I'm also a jack of all trades but I'm also a bartender ... and again, the list goes on. Now to add the most important twist to this greater understanding ... IF I were to get into a Car crash that cuts my body in 1/2 ... am I 1/2 who I used to be? Or am I still me? What if, because I'm so lucky, I get into another crash and lost both of my arms and now I'm basically just a stump ... and I a 1/3 of who I used to be? Or am I still me? Are you being to see that we are MORE than our labels or our positions and titles in life AND we are MORE than the 'meat suits' that we wear around as an interface with the physical world. And now the last component ... here's the rub ... 'who' you really are MUST be who you have been your WHOLE life! As EVERYTHING else has simply been a label or 'role' ... So I ask again ... WHO are you?! So take some time to think about this.
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Hello my Friends!
Here is Homework #6! Most people don't talk very nice to or about themselves so one of the VERY first things I start having people do is work on reprogramming that negative inner self-talk! Doing your ABC's in this way, not only makes sure you get several positive "I AM" statements in BUT it also helps you really think about a word which creates more "intention" behind the statement instead of simply saying a few positive words that don't have much meaning. All you are going to do is start with A and work your way to Z saying OUT LOUD "I AM ... and then a POSITIVE word for the next letter of the alphabet. Soooo to help get you stared I'll start! "I AM ... Amazing "I AM ... Brilliant "I AM ... Charming ... Dedicated, Energetic, Fantastic, Grateful, Happy, Insightful, Joyous, Kind, Limitless, Mindful, Nice, Opportunistic, Passionate, Quintessential, Relentless, Strong, Tenacious, Uplifting, Vivacious, Wise, Xenial, Youthful, and Zealous! Notice your face, notice how you feel ... do you feel lighter, happier, more relaxed? You should! Hello my Friends!
So today we address a topic that most people that I've worked with in the past struggle with ... they don't really have a 'solid' goal or purpose or reason or whatever. A quote that goes with this mentality is you are like a ship without a rudder. As without a way to hold a specific direction, you can spend TONS of energy and literally just go around and around in circles! Todays homework will HOPEFULLY start to redirect, change, or 'fix' that issue. Grab something to write with and then something to write on. It can be a crayon or marker or app or quill and ink but we are going to:
Line one ... what is 'something' you are wanting to 'change' in your life? This can be anything from a behavior to a way of thinking to a relationship to job performance to being more financially stable to being more fit ... whatever. And you might have several you are wanting to actually work on. Once this writing exercise is over I'd suggest ultimately just focusing on the top two or three but for now, just get them out and ON PAPER! Once you have your list of 'somethings', I want you to now write down 2-3 things (or more if you know them already) that you can START DOING NOW to work towards achieving those things. This can be anything from applying for that new job, to registering for school, to setting the alarm clock an hour earlier, to not buying two bags of chips at the store today, to calling that friend or family member today ... whatever. Now that you have some actual 'goals' and some ways of reaching those goals, it is time to decide which one, two or three you are going to start working on TODAY! Not tomorrow, not next week, but right here, right now! Finally, make a nice new clean sheet (or digital page) and write the goal and the steps and then place that
Onward and Upward! Hello my Friends!
What do YOU know about YOUR issue? Whatever the perception of your 'issue' might be, what have you read, watched, studied, researched, questioned or the like to learn more about 'how' it works as well as 'why' you are still perceiving it? I have a nice LONG list on this site about many of the psychology courses I've taken such as: biological psychology, developmental psychology, cognitive psychology, positive psychology, motivational psychology, social psychology, cultural psychology, cyber psychology, abnormal psychology, forensic psychology, criminal psychology, psychology of social media, psychology of leadership ... and on and on and on. Your homework today is to look into 'your' perceived issue or issues. Try using Google Scholar ~ and then just type in your search terms and see what you learn. Why? Well first, it is YOUR issue so perhaps you should know a little something about it. But even more than that, as I researched and learned after taking class after class about psychology, MANY of the mental health 'issues' people deal with became a 'duh' factor ... because the 'how' and the 'why' made perfect sense! So, as most people spend hours 'wasting time' on social media and games, I'm asking you to use a bit of that time on purpose and try to learn something NEW about you and what you are currently experiencing in your life. Onward and Upward! Hello my Friends!
Today you start something really special ... you start working on your book of excellence! This 'book' can be a notebook, a journal, a digital app, or even the walls of your bedroom if you wanted (I would suggest large dry erase boards but don't let my opinions get in the way of progress lol). In this 'book' you are going to start writing down ANYTHING that creates a POSITIVE emotional change in you when you read it. Write down
Day one, take the time to write several things in your 'book.' To make the whole process more meaningful and with more intention, you might consider picking out a 'favorite' writing utensil ... pen, pencil, mechanical pencil, smelly marker, or ink and quill ... whatever you choose just make sure that as you are writing things you are remembering that this is a 'special' book! The 'Why' behind this is that gratitude journals, daily quote books, books with affirmations, and the like ... WORK!! The issue is, not everything in someone else's book will always 'stir' something meaningful in YOU! This way, you can read or write something in YOUR 'book' everyday that WILL have a positive impact on your life! And, if you are having a 'bad' or 'down' day, you can flip to ANY page and read something that WILL help redirect those inner thoughts you are currently experiencing :) Onward and Upward! Hello my Friends!
Here is a very 'simple' but not so 'easy' homework task.
Why? Well, if you do ANY digging at all, you will find that there are NUMEROUS health benefits to taking cold showers. However that is only a convenient beneficial side-effect as to why I'm wanting you to start doing it. Embracing the cold starts to 'train' your mind and body to do what YOU want it to do instead of what IT likes to do or feels 'comfortable' doing. It helps you start to learn that it is ok to not always be in the norm or in your comfort zone. It starts training you to be 'comfortable being uncomfortable.' As I promise, some of the mental or emotional or physical changes you might choose to do in your life are most likely going to 'feel uncomfortable' at least at first! Why? Because the brain doesn't like change and it tries to avoid the unknown. And as I've mentioned to many patients in the past, if you aren't willing to take a cooler shower and work at be uncomfortable for 10-15 seconds, are probably aren't going to want to do the 'hard work' when it comes time to change things in your life either ... and those times will probably last longer than 10 or 15 seconds! Hello my Friends!
Here is homework assignment Number 1. This is something that I have all, and I do mean ALL, of the people that I work with do day one of our meeting ... simply start working on counting their breath. Why? Because it starts to work on your mental ability to focus and pay attention to what you are SUPPOSED to be paying attention to ... instead of what you normally do, which is run around on auto-pilot to the tune of 95% of your day. AND ... in addition to that, most people don't breath deeply enough on a regular basis so it is also good for your overall health as well. So, all you are going to do is try to get to 100 (eventually anyway) while you breath naturally and go about your daily routine. It will go something like this: 1. breath in and out, count one (in your head). breath in and out, count two (in your head) and so on. 2. sooner or later (most likely sooner) you are going to forget that you were counting and/or you are going to forget what number you were on. 3. when this happens, don't get mad at yourself or upset or frustrated or whatever. Just smile, laugh a little, and then start back over with a nice deep breath and then start counting from one again. Eventually what will end up happening is, you will be able to engage in your day like you normally do BUT you will also be much more aware AND more in control of what you are 'thinking' and 'feeling' under your conscious radar as well. This skill of attention and focus ... it IS a skill, as it can be trained and you can become more effective at it, is IMPERATIVE in eventually learning how to better think the way you 'want' instead of simply continuing to be a slave to your past and only reacting while running off old 'programming' from your previous experiences. So smile ... take a breath and I'll see you soon at 100! |
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