Hello everyone,
I wanted to touch on something that I find many people seem to overlook and take for granted ~ hidden blessings. So lets start with a normal day shall we ... the alarm goes off: Were you able to "hear" it? Look up and "see" the time? "Stand up", out of a 'bed"? "Walk"? On a "solid" floor? Into another "room"? In "your" "house"? Use "electricity" to turn on "lights"? Use "hot", "running" water? Then select clothing from "multiple" outfits? Put on "shoes"? "Eat" unassisted? More than 50 calories? Kiss your "loved ones" good day? As you leave for "work"? In your "car"? This is but a short list of the multiple things we take for granted on a day to day basis! I have a personal experience of this very idea, and how much it impacted my own day. I had recently been hit while riding my motorcycle on vacation. So I was stranded, without all my things, and I was staying on a newly acquainted friends couch. I was currently 'limping' down the sidewalk in the rain (of course it was raining), with my head tucked down in my rain coat, in a bad mood, and mumbling something at God. Then ONE thought changed EVERYTHING! One thought made me drop my shoulders, lean my head back and smile in the rain. And then 'step-out' for the rest of the mile to the doctors office. Any idea what that ONE thought could have been, to mach such a huge change in my thinking? ... "I wonder what my dead father, or paralyzed step-father would give to walk in the rain, just one more time!" If you change your thinking, it WILL change your life. Not by changing what happens to you, but by changing how life impacts your day! Lean to control your thoughts, and you will learn how to control your life! #becomethechange #masterofmyfate
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Hello everyone,
Today I'm going to help point out the obvious, to some that may not see the forest for all the trees! Many of you may not know it but I've been (still train a few people) a personal trainer for more than 20 years now, and I hear a funny phrase from people now and again and it just so happens to fall in perfect line with recovery as well: "I tried the gym, it didn't work for me." Really? Do you really think the 'gym' didn't work? Or do you think there was another factor not being looked at? Mmmmm, indeed. Lets look at that factor! So here you have a gym (or a recovery program) with all the bells and whistles to help get you fit & lean (or clean & sober). However, what happens to your waistline if you do not go in and use those pieces of cardio on a regular basis? What happens if you just keep eating like you used to, hanging out with people who are not dieting and trying to eat clean, or people who don't want you to go to the gym (people/places/things comes to mind)? What happens if you go in and don't use the equipment correctly? What about if you go in thinking that "one workout" will make it all better? How about if you are more worried about trying to find a softer, easier way of getting in shape instead of just focusing on the work that needs to be done (relapse comes to mind)? What about, if you just come in and 'go through the motions' of working out? How much weight are you going to drop and how much muscle are you going to shape by half-assing the workouts? Exactly! If you half ass it, you will get half ass results ... at best! All this applies to recovery as well. You can't just buy a gym membership and expect to tone and fit, anymore than you can just say "I'm in recovery" and expect to be clean and sober ... both take fucking work! Like the saying in body building goes: "everyone wants to be a bodybuilder, but no one wants to life any heavy ass weight." You also can't just go into the gym and do a little of this and a little of that and expect to get anywhere. Although it happens EVERY YEAR! Every New Year people come in with lots of motivation but absolutely no real plan or direction and then become frustrated because they did't get amazing results in the first month. Look folks, two main things here. One, it took you how long to get where you are (either in weight or using), it's going to take you a bit to get back to where you want to be! Two, being successful at ANYTHING means you have to know what the hell you are doing! Get a trainer, get a therapist, get a counselor, get a mentor, ... (getting off your ass would also help!). And obviously you can't just half ass it. You need to go after your recovery, or ANY goal with everything you have! As they say in the gym ... if you want to BE the best, you have to train to BEAT the best! Remember, if you are in recovery, you are a fucking gladiator! Step up and act like it! #masterofmyfate #becomethechange Hello everyone,
So I want to touch on the topic of actually CHANGING how you think, as there are too many out there that are just leaving their lives and minds up to the crazy winds of 'chance'. Do you remember the 'scary' movies you watched as a kid that used to give you nightmares or chills in a dark room? Why don't they still scare you? Because at some point in time you actively changed how you thought about that movie. You came to terms with the fact that it was just a movie, that it wasn't real, that it wouldn't happen to you, or even if it was a true story that it wasn't happening now. YOU DID THIS! YOU changed how you felt, thought, and reacted to a movie. Do you know what thoughts of your past are like? They are like movies! Every time you 'replay' a memory about something, good or bad, you are 'watching a mental movie' of your past. So lets start simple. What do you do if you are watching a movie that you don't like? You get up and hit eject, right? Or you change the channel. That's what you need to learn to do with your own thoughts as well. Realize that YOU are CHOOSING to watch the movies in your head! No one is standing behind you or following you around with a gun to your head saying "you will relive this one moment over and over in your head, or I'll pull this trigger". You are doing that, you are playing those tapes! I talk to people all the time that keep reliving a certain experience in their life: someone dying, catching their loved one cheating, something someone said or did, etc, and they just keep hitting 'repeat'. Why? YOU hold the remote! Here try this: close your eyes in a second and picture your favorite cartoon character from when you were a kid. Try it now. Did you see them? Where they running around, or laughing, or acting silly or whatever? It's that simple to 'change' the channel! It's not always easy, but it IS that simple. You just CHOOSE to focus on something else. You DO control what tapes you watch in your mind. Now there is normally another issue, and sometimes many other issues tied to a certain 'film', and that is ultimately why we don't just 'change the channel'. However, until you can work through the main driving forces of why that specific tape is still 'haunting' you, just try the cartoon character trick. I have also found a huge success with singing Christmas songs. Try to be in a bad mood while singing 'Jingle Bells' ha ha. Only YOU can change the channel in your head, so you MUST learn how to do so if you ever want to experience true peace and happiness! I hope this helps! Drop me a line and let me know what you think. Chad #becomethechange #masterofmyfate Hello everyone,
Today we are going to talk about that all elusive 'happiness'. I want you to take out a clean sheet of paper in your mind ... it can be college or standard ruled, and number it 1-5 ... you can use blue or black ink. Then I want you to write down five things that make you happy on that list. Take your time, I'll wait. I'll get a cup of coffee ................................................. Do you have your five things? Was it hard to come up with those five things? Now I'm going to throw a curve ball at you (those that know me should know it couldn't be just that easy ha ha). I want you to take a big black marker and cross any of the following off your list, if you have them: Friends, Family, Kids, Loved ones, Your job (because you are lying, its the paycheck you love not the job), and Sobriety, as it is a give to be happy. Do you have anything left on your list? Do you think that might be part of the issue with becoming happy? You must learn to find happiness inside yourself, and not rely on outside sources to give you that happiness. If you just rely on outside sources, which are fleeting and temporary, you are setting yourself up for more 'suffering'. This is a Buddhist idea, and I strongly suggest that you read up on their way of thinking. Keep in mind that you DO NOT have to become a Buddhist to apply some of their thinking. I'll give you a few examples of happiness that comes from within: Enjoying a sunrise or sunset, walking in the woods or on the beach, singing, playing or listening to music, writing, drawing or painting, practicing or playing a craft/trade/sport, napping in a hammock, enjoying a cup of coffee, etc. Learn to apply THESE things in your life and both life and recovery will BOTH become easier! Hello everyone,
I wanted to take a moment to bring your attention to something that many have not thought about ... YOU ARE STILL HERE! (maybe there is a reason for this). This may seem like a 'duh' comment, however think about it for a moment. In group rooms, meetings, and one on one's I hear LOTS of fears, worries, and anxieties about the future ... why? Have you ever wondered where you were going to sleep before? Have you ever wondered where your next meal was going to come from (when you actually worried about eating)? Have you ever wondered how you were going to pay for something? Get somewhere? Get out of jail? Get your kids back? Be alive tomorrow? The answer to all of these, based on the people I have talked to is: YES! So here is the 'epiphany' for you ~ You have already been hit by some of the hardest hits the world will ever throw at you, and yet here you are still! Addiction claims 200,000 lives a year (not including alcohol), 26,000 people die from NON-Intentional overdoses, and 15,000 die from pain killers alone ... EACH YEAR! So can you explain to me WHY you are so worried about the 'little things' in your life compared to 'where you are going to sleep, eat, or live' ? Is it that you look at your life as a 'failure', when you should be looking at it like a conquering hero? Have any 'normal' person deal with: how are they going to eat, where are they going to live, how are they going to get the money ... and they would lose their fucking minds! You are the epitome of what a military instructor used to say: "It's very hard to beat a man, who never gives up!" People in addiction have started over ... again, and again, and again. You are like the fucking terminator ~ until it comes to recovery. You have a spirit that can't be broken, you have the courage of a champion gladiator, you have the will of ... well, someone who has used drugs addictively! Find that dive in you again and aim it towards sobriety and YOU ... WILL ... NOT ... FAIL! Hello everyone,
A good friend asked if I would touch on this topic, so I will give it a 'shot'. Lets start at the beginning, if you don't get rid of these people you are playing Russian Roulette yourself! It's not IF you will relapse, but WHEN! You don't have to get rid of them forever, but you need to cut ties until you are in a much stronger place. I think part of the issue is people don't really understand addiction, so I'm going to help personify it. Most people should be at least familiar with the movie "American Sniper" (great job there Clint), where Chris Kyle was deemed the most deadly American sniper by taking 160 confirmed lives during the length of his career. So think of addiction as the worlds most deadly sniper ~ claiming over 200,000 lives EACH YEAR! That's droppin 548 people PER DAY, day after day! Now the issue is, just like with any sniper, they only know to look for you at places you used to go, and people you used to hang out with. So when it comes to getting away from people that are still using, or selling, or whatever ... your life literally depends on it! And if they are putting you and your family's life in danger, why are you not treating these people accordingly! What would you say if someone you didn't know came in to your house and stole from you? Came in and started doing drugs on your counter? Came in and started asking you for money (hell what do you do when someone on the street asks you for money)? We must come from different time periods, as I personally follow Stone Cold's methodology ~ "I'll stop a mud hole in your ass and walk it dry!" Why are you worried about 'hurting their feelings'? THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU! Be rude! They aren't going to remember it any way! And IF, they are really a friend (they wouldn't be coming around to begin with) they will understand. Most of these people will just go away for good once they know they can't get anything from you anymore! How did you treat a 'nark'? You just cut them out of your life ... APPLY THAT! So HOW do you terminally end these relationships? 1. Tell them to speak clearly for the 'wire'. 2. Leave a badge laying on your coffee table. 3. Leave a DEA business card laying around. If these don't work, you can always use my ole standby of "I'm going to tear off your arm and beat you to death with the bloody stub" lol. Do whatever you have to! Just make sure they don't come back. People who have used drugs addictively are some of the most imaginative people I have ever met ... USE that imagination and creativity in a constructive way and save your own life at the same time! I hope this helps to put this issue in the cross-hairs. Now you just have to pull the trigger and make it happen! #masterofmyfate #becomethechange Hello everyone!
I hope this post finds you doing well, and enjoying life! Today I want to talk about your 'perception' of life and how much it really impacts your happiness! One of the first things that needs to happen for many of us starting recovery is the discovery of the fact that WE are NOT the center of the universe. How many have thought this: "Well of course it is raining outside, it's my day off." Or, "Of course I'm hitting all the lights, I'm running late." Because the weather patterns and traffic lights revolve around YOUR personal schedule. Really? And here this whole time I thought weather patterns were driven by the jet stream and that lights worked off of timers! You want to become happier? Learn to see life as it IS, not as YOU 'think' it is; and take out the EGO. When it is raining, it's only raining because the weather conditions are present for rain ... and just as importantly, it is raining on EVERYONE else in the area; not just you! When you are stuck at a traffic light, it is just because the timer ticked down, and you are not the ONLY ONE stuck at the light! Often there are MANY others sitting at the same traffic light, but in our minds ... in our own skewed 'perception' WE are the only ones being 'punished'. Let me help you think differently about 'truths' as well. What color is the font you are reading? Nope, it's hot pink! Why is it the color you think it is? Because somewhere in your past someone TOLD you, when you see this shade it's called 'blank'. Well you were told wrong, this color is 'hot pink', because that is what I was told. Now who is right? What if you were color blind? What if you were partially color blind? Your perception would still be your 'own' truth, but in reality it is only a 'version' of the truth. The issue with these 'versions' is that we take and accept them as 'truths'. We believe that we ARE being punished for something we did or didn't do. We believe that others won't like us, or accept us become of the reaction of ONE person or ONE comment. One freeing thought is that what we think is not always the truth! A thought is just that ... a thought. Much like fear ~ "Fear is an imagined idea, about the hypothesis, of a hypothetical event, in a future, that may never even come to pass." ~ Chad. We have irrational thoughts all the time. What do you think when someone is late to an event or late in getting home? Is it ever GOOD? Do you ever think: "I bet they stopped to get me flowers, or my favorite candy, or a special something for me?" No it's always some worst case scenario! I promise you, if you learn to change your thinking, you WILL change your life! Have a wonderful day! Expect something amazing to happen today! #masterofmyfate #becomethechange |
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