iHello Again Sports Fans!
This is something that I've learned in my last month of being in extreme quiet and solitude ... while being alone and not working. I literally spoke more and to more people in about 1/2 hours time as i have over the last month! I have no daily human connections, no social medial, and minimal texts ... just me, my thoughts and my dog Dexter. People say that they care about you, people talk about things like having your back and being there for you, but when it really comes down to it ~ except for the extreme few and the extreme situations ... people don't really give a fuck about anyone but themselves and their own situations. Out of sight ... out of mind. Now, when you understand psychology, I honestly ask who could blame them. You see, when people live in a constant state of stress - living like they have a tiger chasing them 24/7 ~ the ego becomes very selfish and focused on material things ... as that is what will hep the ego survive the 'attack.' So , in todays world of "something" is going to kill everyone at any moment ... no one gives a fuck about you or what's going on in your life, as they are just trying to survive their own 'attack'. They say, whoever the hell "they" are, that when the student is ready that the teacher will appear. For me, my most recent teacher has been silence ... emptiness ... alonenesss. It taught me to look into my own thoughts and actions to see what was missing from myself that I was seeking to find fulfillment in others. It taught me to find happiness and peace within and not seek it in outer things or in other people. It has ultimately taught me to be ok with myself and provided me an even deeper understanding in the tings that i was still judging in the world and in people around me. As at first, I was resentful of others, I was jealous, I was angry, all because people were not doing or responding in the way that I 'though' ... aka judged ... that they should be. Imagine, life not being exactly the way I wanted, boo hoo, poor me lol. Once I realized that it was these thoughts that were creating my current "dis-ease" with myself and the world, I was able to redirect my thinking and my judgement, which allowed me to be 'free' within the world again and not be spun around by it because I was holding on trying to control things. Now, I'm still alone but not lonely. I'm still in silence but I enjoy it without judgement. I still sit in the quiet of the house but I now do so in the calm of my own mind. It is true freedom to be able to be all alone with your self and your thoughts without any influence or reflection from the outside world and be at peace with everything. So I would challenge each of you ... even if you can't see a "person" to look around and see how many 'teachers' you might personally have around you just waiting for you to realize they are there so that you can learn from them. May your life always be whatever you say it is.
2 Comments
Selinda Stockley
11/23/2020 10:04:08 am
Wow I had that same experience and I remember when I was in early recovery and could not stand being alone and I was always “bored”. Awww my poor brain. Then I had a very similar situation occur over a period of time and I came to the same realization that it was complete freedom to not have to expect another person to complete me so to speak. I did not need to place those unrealistic expectations on anyone anymore, they were free to be themselves lol. It is my choice to be happy or fulfilled and my responsibility to open up to all of the teachers that are always accessible if I choose to open my eyes and be still and quiet and ....alone. I observe so many people avoiding this same situation like the plague. Only if they knew what gifts awaited them. So many people rushing into relationships just to have someone to cling to and not be alone. It was forced upon me and I was also throwing pity parties and inviting anyone around me to come because “they” love everyone else more than me and I never get the stuff and everyone else has great lives and husbands and wives ... boo hoo poor me poor me poor me!!! That time was priceless as I no longer feel the need to have others responsible for my happiness or sadness or moods. I am free to choose that. I no longer dislike being alone... I can’t get enough of alone time now and I am never bored! I am responsible for only me and my thinking and what I choose to believe. It really is the ultimate freedom.
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Chad Davis
11/23/2020 03:37:32 pm
Hello :) Thank you for your kind thoughts and sharing of your own experience!
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